Acceptance & Compassion in the Midst of Crisis
The first time I had heard the word “Coronavirus” was on January 25th, 2020. I had just arrived back at work after a week of traveling followed by a week of being sick with Influenza B. A co-worker made a joke suggesting that I’d come down with the Coronavirus. I had no idea what he was talking about. Another co-worker chimed in mentioning there’s a case of this virus at DePaul University, located in Lincoln Park (Chicago) where I live. My curiosity was peaked. I began to inform myself on what was developing over in China, reading articles with a heavy heart and, at that time, a small pinprick of fear.
I stopped following the developments as closely for most of February, but did notice this word, Coronavirus, namely COVID-19, inevitably on my phone screen at least once a day. I started seeing people on public transportation wearing masks. I began to notice myself washing my hands more diligently and frequently. I caught myself pulling my sleeve over my hand to open doors or pushing handicap buttons with my elbow. It was just the beginning of the sense that something bad is out there (there being possibly everywhere) and we can’t see it.
It is now Wednesday, March 18th 2020. A week ago, Chicago shut down its annual St. Patrick’s Day festivities which left me plan-less for the weekend. This was my personal beginning of the event-cancelling snowball effect, slowly but surely wiping out every single social event on my calendar for the next however long. I’ve been self-quarantining for 5 days now and as of today all non-essential shops, restaurants, and businesses in Chicago are closed. One of the largest cities in the world, silenced within days, and eerily, indefinitely.
These past five days have been a roller-coaster of emotion for me like many others around the globe, feeling everything from confusion to fear to overwhelm as I begin to cope with the scale of this pandemic and what is now our new reality. I know that in the broader sense, humanity will indeed make it through this, but the acute uncertainties loom mercilessly. Which of my favorite small businesses will have to shut down? Who out of my friends and family members is going to get the virus? Which person I love will lose their job? This is bigger than just a week of plans being shot. This is cancelled weddings, bankrupt businesses, triggered past traumas, and lives at risk. We’ve gone from living day-to-day as normal as can be to being robbed of precious life experiences in an instant with nothing but an intangible bug to blame. In retrospect, it’s alarming to think of how many days have past between that first day of hearing about the virus up until now and all the precautions that could have been taken. I’m coming to terms with the realization that there will be a thin blanket of anxiety covering everything we do in the next few weeks.
I don’t write all of this in vain. I’m writing this because I’ve learned that for myself, acceptance is at the core of healing and oftentimes the first necessary step. I would love to eventually share some positive and practical ideas during this crisis. However, before I do so, I’ve recognized the sense of presence and peace that can come from not glazing over the truth of what is. In my experience, acceptance beautifully leads to compassion for myself and others. When you are able to accept that your current circumstances are painful and unfair, you can be a little softer on how yourself and those around you are handling the difficulties.
This is how I process. Typing this out has been therapeutic for me and maybe this was helpful to those who needed to do some processing themselves. For now my focus is shifting to what I can control in the next few weeks. I’m planning on prioritizing daily movement, meditation, reading, and FaceTimes. I’m allowing the silver-lining to be the global healing that is taking place in nature while humans are cooped up. I’m self-soothing when I feel my heart-rate rise or shortness of breath occur. Also, practising so so much patience.
Please leave a comment if there’s anything I can do for you in this space while we wait. We are truly ALL in this together. I believe that on the other side of this thing we’ll find a more grounded and empathetic humankind 🌎♡
